another argh afternoon

it was just one of those days when i am sure i am slowly going to go mad from being a full time mother and part time everything else. tuesday afternoons have become ayala afternoons, as BBB can drop us off on his way to school (he teaches at university once a week) and pick us up 3 hours after. its enough time for me and LP to explore a little and do the week's groceries, and maybe for LP to nap a little, depending on what his body clock tells him to do. 


this afternoon, he wasn't quite fully awake as his noon nap only lasted for under an hour instead of two. so i had a sleepy baby who wasn't sure he wanted to sleep or stay awake. after buying replacement nail clippers in rustan's, round and round we went thinking he might go to sleep (he was sucking his thumb, the #1 sign he wanted to snooze). no such luck. having walked all along the upper ground level, i thought we should go outside. the grass was too wet from rain the night before (and the rain was still on and off-ish this morning) so walking on squelchy muddy grass was not what i had in mind. however, walking on pathways was not what he had in mind. he kept going for the sprinklers, the fallen leaves, the soil. argh. 


back inside, we did a few more paseos until i thought to go into metro dept store to look at dress ideas for Kiwi's wedding. on our way in we spot a working display of Thomas the tank engine running on plastic tracks. if there is a character my son has learned to recognize, it is thomas. so we look at the little plastic train for a bit, LP sitting in his pushchair, mummy making a mental note about getting a train that moves by itself (his cool wooden brio set needs manual operation--which he enjoys doing, complete with a soundtrack, sans tracks, and with the train pieces always ending in a wreck). 


inside, i browse, he sucks his thumb. except seeing christmas balls & fake fir trim excites him enough to sit up and point and chatter. damn you capitalist christmas displays in october! i am torn between helping him fall asleep or keeping him awake until its time to do the groceries. it should not be a difficult and complicated decision, but some days i just waffle on. 2 hours after we arrive in ayala, he finally goes to snooze. as the mall is not that big and not that interesting, i head off to do the groceries still feeling argh. 


its really just one of those days.